When I was young.
I knew, I was tough.
I knew I had the love for the summer games.
But, I have never participated. I thought, participation in summer games will ruin my grades.
One morning, my friends asked me, if I were participating in the summer competitions.
I said, “No, I am not interested”.
As a kid I thought, a life of a middle class boy is to chase life for a successful living.
and I told myself, I should be chasing life.
Growing up, as an young adult….
I knew, I wasn’t fair, well built or filthy rich. But, I had the charm with the dark forested good heart.
I knew I wanted to tell it to her about how I felt like the princess walking down the aisle, when I saw her walking through the long and narrow corridor of my good old university and how light I felt with my fe
et losing its feel on to the ground as I take my steps towards her to reach my seat. And how my heart felt heavy, when the last hour of lecture was over and she was leaving the class through the tall door that looked like an beautiful picture frame with her, walking through.
She is Fiona Anderson. She was Gorgeous
My friends asked me, if I was interested in dating someone.
I said, “No, man! I am single, and enjoying my life.
When I had so much to feel about her, I didn’t let her know it.
I told to myself, I am chasing life.
Few years later.
I was working and ultimately, I was earning.
I married her, not because we feel in love.
It seemed more like my destiny.
We knew each other through my mother and she loved Natalie and so did things happen!
She was an amazing home maker.
One fine morning, when I was getting ready for work, she came up to me with something she was interested in doing. Well, it was not the first time. She would always come up with a plan for a vacation with kids for their holidays. But I was too busy rushing for work and I never cared to listen to what she was trying to tell, ever.
I felt I was doing great, being the breadwinner of my family.
And, I have been chasing life successfully, every single day. . .
My village,Bidbury, England
Many years later…..
A dark evening in the summer, I was getting back home from work. I was walking and a mile away from my beautiful village in Bidbury, England. Suddenly, life reminded me of something. It was my retirement, tomorrow. I sat on the pavement chair under a tree for a break.
Ah! What a journey, Jonathan!”, I said to myself as I was gazing at the young children playing at the park, the other side.
My son is in the armed forces, serving as the Lieutenant commander in the British Navy.
My beautiful daughter is married with two beautiful kids, and she is the CEO of the one of the fastest growing tech company.
Everything was fine.
Until When I realized that I am going to spend the rest of my life at the park, gazing at the young children and re-living my memories.
I felt empty at heart, all of a sudden.
Yes, I have been chasing my life, all my life. But, the thing I realized at the point of no more journey was, I have been chasing my life without a path to remember and a destination to reach.
I realized, I was not chasing my life and my life was chasing me with opportunities all the while. I realized that, I should have chosen to chase my desires and opportunities, instead of chasing my life. I realized that I have been compromising all my life that I have been chasing life for good.
I thought life is a duty, failing to realize that it has its beauty.
On this darkest evening of my life, I miss Natalie. The last thing I could remember is her beautiful song that she used to sing for all the peaceful nights of my life. I never realized, she was a woman of dreams and ambition. She definitely was the one, in successful upbringing of both my children. Oh! My dear, I am sorry for not being with you through your lifetime with me. I never deserved you, Natalie.
( Natalie had a heart attack, a few years ago. Unfortunately, There was no one to rush her to the hospital, in the afternoon and she fell dead in the corner of the bedroom )
I know, I have been busy working all my life.
Forgive me, my love!
I miss you and I know, you will be gazing at me from the heaven, while I am gazing at this beautiful children in the park. I feel thankful for being married to you, for your songs will be the only thing I would re-live everyday, for the rest of my life.
Life lesson — Life has all kinds of beauty in it. The childhood, the teenage, the knowledge, the youth, the love, the betrayal, the hardships, the music, the nature, the friends, the family, the love, the compassion, the sorrow, the loneliness, the ego and many more. Make sure, you experience everything.
You will not be able to re-do anything, you will only be able to re-live the memories. So, make sure you have a beautiful path to remember and a destination to reach. Make your everyday, beautiful. We, definitely are not going to carry anything, other than memories and experiences.
“We should live life, not work life.”
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